You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
