so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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