Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
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I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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