Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
