if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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