He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
