hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
