youre lurking in front of me
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
