I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
