Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Someone signed my nipple.
God, I missed his penis.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
