marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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