And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
