using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
