Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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