My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize