i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
