I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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