Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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