Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
