with your own penis?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I think I just sharted jello shots
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
