The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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