I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
