He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
