We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize