Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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