tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
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