I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
