I need help removing her.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
