so that wasnt chicken after all
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize