Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
