marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
