discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
