When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
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theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
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I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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