So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
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Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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