i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
