Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up

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(705): View more from Ontario

It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(601): View more from Mississippi

And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.

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(727): View more from Florida

just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday

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(510): View more from California

Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me

(206): View more from Washington

That is an interesting fear as well as image

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be

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(908): View more from New Jersey

He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.

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