I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours