Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
