if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm sobbing to NWA
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
