Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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