so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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