I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
