she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
