I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
