Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
