I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
