So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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