I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
