I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
