Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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