question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
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the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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