I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
