So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
