sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
