Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize